The Co-Dependant Leader

Co-Dependant Leadership

Recently I was having a phone conversation with Buddy Cremeans, a pastor in up state New York. As we were talking he said something that really caused me to STOP dead in my tracks and REALLY think about a CHANGE I need to make. He said “Chris, you need to get rid of this co-dependant leadership crap.”

As I have reflected on what Buddy said to me, I have come to the conclusion that I need to grow and learn from being dependant on God ALONE and NOT other people. Why? Because people will always let you down. I have had to really ask myself where co-dependant leadership comes from in my life. The answers are not conclusive but they are a beginning list for me.

1. My own approvalism that I seek from other people. This has been born out of the insecurities that were created when I was young. What I’ve done is I have just drug my past into my future. This is an area that I have been working on for a long time and have made some significant progress. BUT I still need to make some progress in this area. I am a work in progress. Where are you in this area of your life? Do you live for God’s approval or people’s approval. Don’t answer it too quickly, take some time to do some soul reflection.
2. My lack of understanding about how to manage my inner circle. I am learning that everyone has an inner circle that they can trust with their life. The learning for me, is that everyone can’t be in that circle. There have been people I thought I could trust but really weren’t.
3. I am learning that I can’t PLEASE EVERYONE!